Our Road in Foster Care

For 24 years I have had an idea of what victories look like. This past year changed that.

* Pretend I’m writing this in 2013, not two -almost three- months into 2014. 2013 is when this post should’ve been written. But… when you’re over 9 months pregnant and you’ve cleaned the house from floor to ceiling several times over and now just don’t care whether or not your baby comes home to a clean house- you start reflecting and actually decide to take the reflections to the computer. *

So, victories. I’m talking about our foster care experience. Our first placement, sweet G, came to us in August and was with us for 12 weeks. It was hard. It. was. so. hard. If I wasn’t absolutely sure that God had called our family to do this, I would have bailed immediately and hid in my closet under all of my clothes so that no one could find me. Well, I actually did do that closet thing…but I didn’t bail! I knew that God had called our specific family, during this specific season, to be there for this specific little boy – so I had that to rely on. It didn’t make it easier, but it made it possible.

There is truly so much that I could say about those 12 weeks, but here, I only want to explain the major lesson I had learned. My biggest struggle during that time was being tempted by, and some days even believing two different lies. One, the lie that I was failing G more than I was helping him, and two, that I had taken on too much. To cut the details short but still give background; G is a month younger than Tegan. He came to us with several delays that were pretty obvious after only a few days of being with us. The delays he had, caused him to be extremely frustrated with himself and because of the frustration, created some behavior habits that were detrimental to himself but also very stressful on our family. We took him to several places to get evaluated which all led to him qualifying to receive therapy three times a week. After the appropriate amount of time, the therapist was noticing no improvement and suggested that the natural competition of Tegan being around wasn’t giving him the attention he needed in order to thrive. She also said that even if he did improve, adding a new baby to the mix might cause him to regress and possibly to a place worse than he was before. This was really hard for me to hear. The questions that started reeling through my mind were : Why would God send him to us if he knew our home would only cause him to have a harder time? Is this a battle I’m supposed to fight and see through to a victory? Am I supposed to give up and wave the white flag? I don’t give up, it’s not who I am.

Y’all, I was haunted by these questions- daily! I seriously struggled with the idea of “disruption” (sending him to a different home), because I was fearful. As you earn your certification, you learn that the more homes the children go through the harder it becomes for them to recover- I didn’t want to start that downhill spiral for him. But, I also feared failure. I was worried we would fail him, but also- to be completely shallow, I feared being perceived as a failure (ok- please know that I know I’m not a failure, so don’t think I need a pep-talk after this…I promise I’m ok).

So, last November I perceived my two choices as: 1.)Battle this through to the end, man up and fight for this kid until I see a victory- God would give me strength, right? -or- 2.)Be a coward, wave the white flag and surrender (send him to a different home). This was the only way I viewed my dilemma. Both choices were wrong. But those were the choices that my mind came up with, so to me, they were right. Oh, the drama.

There was a conversation around this time that I had with my little brother that changed everything.
*Sidebar: My little brother, Stephen, is a man like none you have ever met. He is a hero, a treasure, a fighter, a role model, a teacher, a friend and those are just a FEW of the things he is to ME. Watching him grow and learning from his wisdom is an experience that I will treasure and hide in my heart to carry with me for the rest of life.*

In that conversation I told Stephen that I felt like I was about to make a choice to either fight for the victory or wave the white flag. He looked at me and said “How do you know what the victory is?”. Y’all, that was it- the point is – I DON’T! I had been so wrapped up in myself, that I only saw things the way I laid them out to see. God doesn’t use our definitions of things, he uses his. I pictured a “victory” with G as seeing and loving him through to reunification or adoption. That wasn’t how God wrote our victory for G. Sometimes God uses us as stepping stones instead of landing pads. We were a stepping stone for G. We provided a safe place, showed him what love was (or tried to) until he was where he needed to be. And y’all, right now – present day – he is SO where he needs to be.

So the lesson learned through this brief but powerful period in our lives, was that a victory isn’t always the finish line. God has little victories in our lives that might only happen if or when we can learn to let go. I trusted God, but still held on to so many of the details. I am so grateful that God can use us through our selfishness and misunderstanding. And I’m so grateful for a brother who isn’t scared to look me in my face and speak truth.

*G update: He left our home after 12 weeks of being with us and became a foster son to a very close friend of ours. Everything about her leads to a perfect combination for this boy. She babysat for us several times and the head over heels feelings she had for G were 100% mutual. If we ever dropped him off with her- he was in her arms and basically pushing us out the door. They loved each other from the beginning. She wasn’t a licensed foster parent until that fall, which made the timing of this situation another part of what makes the unification of her and G so completely divine. Since being with her, he has met all of his goals in therapy and is happier than I have ever seen him.*

God knew exactly what he was doing. He was using us to care and protect G until he could go where he needed to go. Ahhhh God is so good and so sovereign over all things.

“More Jesus”

My girl loves Jesus. I mean, she doesn’t understand who he is or what he has done for her yet, but she loves him. She loves to get her storybook bible and find him in the pictures, she loves getting ready for bed and asking “Jesus?” “Yes, baby, we’re gonna talk to Jesus”, she just loves Jesus. And as a mom, it thrills me. I love that she loves him before she even understands how much he loves her.

We had a sweet moment today, the two of us, and I couldn’t help but write it down immediately in fear of forgetting any detail. She and I went on a walk after lunch today- which is nothing out of the ordinary. When we got inside, instead of immediately looking for Dixie, “Dix-Dix”, she was following me around saying “dadu-dadu-dadu”. We are pretty sure “dadu” are her words for “hold-you” or “I want you”…still trying to figure out her toddler language. So, I went to the couch, brought her up on my lap and asked if she wanted to read some books. She said no and kept on with the “dadu”. I asked if she wanted to cuddle. She shook her head yes and then crawled up onto my overly pregnant belly and nestled her head into my neck the way that toddlers do. You know, the way that makes any mama melt every single time.

Naturally, I start to sing to her. Odd as it is, when I sing to babies the only songs that I can ever remember are the oldest of hymns. Songs I haven’t heard or thought of in years pop into my mind – I grew up in a southern baptist church, so you can imagine the library of hymns stored in the back of this head. I don’t mind- they’re good, solid songs. I even miss them sometimes. Anyway, the singing goes on for a few minutes until I can hear the sucking of her thumb slow down and her breathing get heavier. I stopped singing thinking she was ready for her nap, but just as I stopped she popped that sweet blonde head up off my shoulder, looked at me and with the sweetest of any voice said, “More? More Jesus?”. Be. still. my. soul. Yes, baby girl with all of my heart I will sing you more Jesus.

Oh my sweet Tegan, I hope that this is the cry of your heart for the rest of your sweet and precious life. May you forever want more of Jesus.

Our Road to Foster Care (part one)

Just so you know, this is a long story- but there is so much that I don’t want to cut out. So instead of leaving things out I’m just going to split it up into 2 parts. Part 1 will be more of the back story, the how. Part 2 will be more honest, more of the why.
————————————————————————-

This has been a long time coming. I finally feel as if I’m able to organize all of my thoughts enough to share them. I have been given some words, some time and I have a bag of Hershey’s Kisses next to me… so I think it’s about time to get this out.

As of June 27th, Kyle and I are certified foster parents. We have been in Georgia for the summer while Kyle is helping build a house and, upon our return home, are expecting our first foster child. We have always desired to be parents. Even while we were dating we talked about it- we talked about being foster parents, adoptive parents, and of course (like most every other dating couple) biological parents. Of course, once we got married our focus and primary concern turned towards each other, our jobs and saving money. The talk of parenthood wasn’t so much the number one conversation of choice (well, not for Kyle anyway). When we found out we were pregnant with Tegan (surprise) something changed within me. Deep down in my bones I knew that this was it. This is what I was made for, and I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful that feels. I just knew. I was made to be a mom.

As the months of my pregnancy ticked by, I remember confronting Kyle about fostering and reminding him of our earlier conversations. We decided that it was still something we’d like to do. One day. One day in the future, maybe when our kids were grown, or when they were old enough to understand. But, for some reason waiting didn’t settle well with me. I remember being 5ish months pregnant in January of 2012 telling Kyle that we could definitely be doing foster care now, I mean we were already getting one baby why not just make it two. We could totally do it. He said no. And I’m glad he did- Tegan was plenty enough for us to handle those first couple months.

The desire never left my heart though. I came to Kyle again 10 months later, when Tegan was 5 months old, explaining the yearning I had to be a foster mom. He listened. He never shut me down. We talked about it, the hardships and the concerns, but he never said no. I love him for that…because he could have said no- it would have made sense to say no.
Lo and behold, we found out that our church was having a foster/adoption information meeting that December, scheduled for a few weeks after we had that conversation. We went and liked what we heard. Kyle got more concrete information, which is what he wanted, and my spark of desire turned into a roaring flame.

I knew that this would be a hard decision for our family, and that Kyle would ultimately give the yes or no, so I didn’t say a word about it for two weeks. All I did was pray. I came to him at the end of those two weeks (I understand that that is not a very long time, but for me and my patience, it’s equivalent to about 7 years), and told him I thought we needed to take this “foster thing” seriously. He said ok. We signed up for certification classes starting January of 2013. You are able to get your certification and not take in any foster children right away, so Kyle’s idea was to go ahead and get our certification and in a couple of years start taking in kids. I let him think that. Half way through our certification course, we were sitting at the kitchen table and Kyle looked at me and said “These kids need a father, we can do that. We have to do this.” I teared up and said “I know”. It was emotional all around. Ky then went to the garage to do manly things and I’m sure that’s all he did in there.

6 months down the road, 30 hours of classes and stacks of paperwork that you only see in cartoons later, we are certified foster parents expecting a foster child as soon as we return home next week.

Jesus said that the orphans would not be forsaken- and we are believing that he is serious. Kyle and I have loved Jesus for a long time, but we are done and bored with only loving him. We are calling him out on his promises, believing and trusting in his word, and we are taking action.

Is this the best decision for our family? It’s definitely not the easiest. We don’t have a lot of money, we are very young, we aren’t professional parents, and we have a thirteen month old for goodness sake- it doesn’t make sense. So is it the best decision? Ya, I think it is. The best thing for my family is to learn how to hear God’s voice and respond to it. So here we go.

The Road to Foster Care (part two)

As sure as we are about our decision to go into foster care, I would be naive to think that the adversary wouldn’t throw a few scary ideas our way. Here are our top fears, the ones that I pray through…well daily.
1) Whatever child we have, will eventually go home. It may take 2 days, but it also may take two years. Can I say goodbye?
2) What if the child is hard to love? Can I love enough?
3) What if Tegan doesn’t understand? What if she sees her parents as people who care for other children’s needs more than hers?
4) What if I’m not a good enough mom?

I know the answers to each of these questions. I didn’t 6 months ago, but God has proven faithful and shown me truth despite my doubt and fear.

1) C.S. Lewis says “To love is to be vulnerable…” the harder it is to say goodbye to the child, the more I’ll know I loved them well. These children deserve to be mourned over, no one has probably ever missed them. But we will. Whatever child comes and goes through our home will be covered with prayer for the rest of their lives. I am no stranger to God’s power and grace in hard circumstances and I know we will have strength to say goodbye when the time comes.
2) The same love that rescued the world lives in me. Of course I can love them enough.
3) We’ll do our best and pray for wisdom. We want to raise children who see needs and want to meet them, who recognize places where they can take action. Hopefully she’ll see us as an example.
4) I’ve heard before “You mother as well as you know your Father”. No I’m not a good enough mom, but Christ in me can be.

Those are the truths that I know and believe, and am repeating to myself constantly. Please pray that we don’t forget them.

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As I mentioned in part one, we’ve been living in Georgia this summer. That means that I’m closer to most of my college friends. Tegan and I left for a few days to stay in Knoxville, TN. to see two of my college roommates, Taylor and Lacy. Taylor and her husband, Ben, now have 2 boys, who I finally, just this summer, got to meet! Knoxville was great. Lacy and I shared a bed and stayed up till 4am talking just like we used to do. It was much needed. Not the waking up from a 4am bedtime part- but the trip.

Anyway, the drive to and from Knoxville was about 3 1/2 hours long. Tegan slept THE WHOLE WAY. Both times. It was divine. I mean seriously it was GLORIOUS. I had hours to myself listening to music and driving through the mountains. Like I said, glorious. Divine. I will never forget that drive. It was one of those drives where you feel like the Lord himself is picking every song you listen to. During my little private concert; Hillsong’s ‘Desert Song’ came on, and I’m sure I had it on repeat for about 45 minutes.

“This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry…
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain…
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way…
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow…”

I couldn’t help but shout it out and claim it as my prayer through this foster journey. To be completely honest, I’m so scared to start this journey. I’m scared because I know that we’ll be going to go through the desert, and the fire, and the battle…and I’ll hope for a victory, but it’s not always promised, and actually pretty slim, in situations with foster children. But, despite my fears, I know that this is the seed I’ve received and I’m going to sew it. I’ll bring my praise, I’ll rejoice, and I’ll declare that God is my victory, he is Kyle’s victory, he is our foster children’s victory, and he is Tegan’s victory. This is the season God has brought our life to, and that is enough to rejoice- knowing that He is the one who brought us here.

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I recently read a blog post written by Ann Voskamp. She had visited Katie Davis in Africa and the post was her response to the visit- it was beautiful. You should read it if you have time- (I tried to post a link to it here but it wouldn’t work so I’ll just post it as a comment.) In that post, she had recorded a conversation between one of Katie’s african daughters and Katie.

“Mommy, if Jesus comes to live inside my heart, will I explode?”
And Katie had said —“No!” and then —
“Yes, if Jesus comes to live in your heart, you will explode… That is exactly what we should do if Jesus comes to live inside our hearts.

We will explode with love, with compassion, with hurt for those who are hurting, and with joy for those who rejoice. We will explode with a desire to be more, to be better, to be close to the One who made us.”

I don’t know about y’all but I want my heart to be a war-zone over here!

—–

“But our answers to all the raging questions of the day won’t be found in what we write or say: it will be found in how we open our doors. Hospitality means if there is room in the heart- there is always room in the house.”
– This is totally plagiarism by the way- I have no clue where it’s from, I just found it on my phone, and love it.

—–

Please keep our family in your prayers, all of us. This will be a road that defines who we are as a family, may it be full of Jesus and full of praise!

Tegan Jo is One.

Tegan Jo, a year ago you made me a mom, and fulfilled a lifelong dream. You are so much more than I ever could have imagined you would ever be. My whole life changed when I became your mom. As far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to be one. I’ve spent hours daydreaming about who you’d be- and have probably had over one hundred names picked out for you over the past 20 years. I’ve spent endless days lost in my imagination creating everything you would be. But, despite all of those “plans”, you are nothing like I ever thought you’d be, nothing like I had imagined. You are so much more! You’ve exceeded every one of my hopes I’ve ever had about you. I am so grateful that God knitted you together and not me.

I love watching how much you love people. I don’t think I’ve ever been around a person who didn’t smile within seconds of being in your presence. I love watching you explore this world so well. I don’t think I’ve ever taken you anywhere where you weren’t dying to check out every nook, corner and cranny. You keep me moving, and it’s so fun. 

I am already so proud of you. You make me laugh everyday. You give the best hugs and snuggles. You laugh at the most perfect times. You’re tough. You make the funniest faces. You throw your head back when you laugh. You have huge honkin teeth with a huge honkin gap and I love it. You flirt with your dad, often. You cock your head to the side, pull your chin in and grin when your dad looks back at you in your carseat. You are stubborn. You suck your thumb when you’re sleepy and it is just the sweetest thing. My heart stirs every time I hear you say “ma-ma” over the monitor. Oh, how I love you!

Your dad and I are in for one wild ride with you, and I can not wait!

Poopy Diapers

Tegan is almost 11 months old. She is hilarious. So very fun and so very active. She only sits still for the occasional 30 second snuggle with mama and she’s off again. Yesterday we were at a pool that had a beach entry, she isn’t walking yet so she sprint crawled straight into the water and kept crawling until her face was at water level. She was choking on water, laughing the whole time. Just a glimpse for you of my Tegan.

As fun as she is- there are certain times when her mobility and constant need of action becomes greater than my ability to control her. Example: poopy diapers. I got the wet ones down to a 4 second swap. Piece of cake! But poop, and boy does she poop (she eats ANYTHING that is food and ALL of the time), is a completely different story.

I figured I’d narrate for you a typical diaper change.

“Oh crap, T- you stink. We need to go change you. Can you come this way? I have toys, oooh and I have food! Come on, lay down. No? Here play with this. No? How about this? No? This? No? Oh gosh-gross. Ouch, please stop kicking. No T- don’t roll over! Want to hold my phone? No? How about the itsy bitsy spid-Tegan Jo-no! Do not grab that, uh gross. And don’t give it to Dixie either! Come here. How about ‘jesus loves me’- no? ok Tegan- do not roll over right now! I AM STRONGER THAN YOU! Ok. Fine, I’m not. Go ahead and lay on your belly- I can figure this out…ok- or sit on the carpet, I think that’s washable. Can I have that new diaper please? Almost done. Oh gosh where did the dirty diaper go? oh sick. T how did you do that so fast? Where did I leave that carpet cleaner? Ok, Tegan calm down- it was not that bad. Come here let’s get your new diaper on and this will all be over. You know what? Scratch that let’s just go get in the bath and clean the tears and poop off of you. Off of both of us.” …and then we both enter the bathroom crying.

I just started the 60 day Insanity workout, mainly so I can be strong enough to handle changing her poopy diapers.

Catch Up

It’s been four months. I actually have a list of all these great post ideas that I’ve been wanting to write. Tegan’s naps have become shorter and sometimes nonexistent so blogging is pretty far down on my list of things to do while I have that break during naps. I wanted to have a post about Christmas, and one about all the great things that happened in 2012…etc. But life is going by so fast right now, so this is what gets left: a hodge podge of memories, and little moments that capture where our life has been the past four months.

Christmas 2012:

Tegan’s 1st Christmas. Kyle’s parents came down to spend Christmas with us which was amazing! Having family stay in our house made it truly feel like a holiday, a really special day. I love hosting- so I really did love having them here. Tegan was never overwhelmed. She loved the crazy schedule, the wrapping paper, the loud noises of people and laughter, I couldn’t have been more obsessed with her. She may just be an extrovert like her mama.

<p style="text-align:left;“>New Years:

New Years was a lot different this year. The past 5 or 6 years we have gone to Chicago with a group of college friends, stayed out late, and slept two or three to a bed, on couches and air mattresses sprawled out all over the house. So, different is the word of choice. Different in a lot of ways, but it was still a lot of fun. We had two friends come over, made a fire in our back yard, drank sparkling grape juice and watched clips from les mis until the ball dropped and we went to bed. Lots of laughs and good conversation. Here’s to 2013!

Soccer:

Kyle coached soccer again for the 2nd consecutive season. He enjoys coaching these boys, and they had a pretty good season! They finished 14-4-2. It really was a lot of fun.

February:

Tegan had a rough February. She got Roseola and RSV back to back within 6 days. Not fun. Lots of cuddles and tears, from both mama and baby. Luckily they were viruses, so no antibiotics. She is one tough, resilient little girl and as soon as the viruses were over she was completely back to normal.

We had a college friend, DP, come into town for work. He is a very treasured friend and we were thrilled to have him stay with us. We went to a Braves spring training game, sat in a box, ate a lot of food…and well probably slept a lot after that, I ate so much I don’t even remember. Either way, fun.

Spring:

We decided to start the certification process to become foster parents. We are still in the process, but are expecting to get our first placement towards the end of the summer. We had to take 30 hours of classes, complete a lot of paperwork (that is still in process), and we have two home studies ahead of us until the entire process is complete. There is so much to say here, but it truly needs a post to itself.

Kyle and I joined a couples small group, and individually started getting involved in some new group bible studies. It is truly amazing to see what can happen when you come together and live in true community with others. This life was not intended to be lived alone and I can honestly say that these new outlets have proven this to be so very true. We needed this badly. I believe that our parenting is better and our marriage is stronger because of the community we’ve come to find. 

Tegan and I drove up to Gainesville to watch my cousin Maggie at a track meet. She is amazing. She made 2 PRs while I was there, and could beat me in a race if she was running backwards. Did I mention she is a freshman!? She is fast. 

For Kyle’s spring break, we went up to Atlanta to see family. We always have a great time with the Stantons. I am so glad that this is the family I married into, really, they are just that great. Tegan is mesmerized by her cousins, and truly adores them. It won’t be much longer till she is wanting to be right in the middle of the light saber wars and soccer games. And, I absolutely love being an aunt, I could talk about those sweet boys of mine for ages. We were eating lunch one day when my four year old nephew, Collier, told me “Hey Amanda, why do you live so far away?” talk about heart wrenching! Collier, I am telling you right now bud, as soon as teleportation works I am coming straight to your house. The rest of the family is pretty great too 🙂 I am telling you- I am one lucky girl.

 

Easter:

Church. Family Pictures. Food at my grandparents house. Easter egg “hunt” that for Tegan was more of an Easter egg observation. She also chased after a huge spider that day, I have a feeling we may have a bug lover (ugh). 

Tegan:

She has a lot of personality. She really does love people and has zero fear of strangers (good or bad? still deciding). She is a chatter box. That didn’t really start until recently, but she will stop, point at something, and just let it have it- very amusing. She is waving, clapping, crawling and pulling up. No real words yet, just lots of sounds. She is a great eater, loves naps, water and snuggling with her mama (yay!). I really love this girl. She is truly amazing and I can’t wait to tell her how awesome of a baby she was. 

O Come, Emmanuel

I love Christmas season. I love it for so many reasons. But I feel that as the older I get the more I’m aware of the heartache that is also attached to this season. Whether it’s just that the year is already over, that we are missing someone, or that we are facing the tragedies that break our heart and leave us aching. For some reason, the Christmas season makes me very sensitive to this hurting world that is in so much need.

There has been a Christmas song that I’ve been recently reminded of that has been so heavy on my heart that I needed to lay it somewhere else. “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”. My longing is for our sweet Jesus to come. Come Jesus and fix this broken world. So I looked up the lyrics because the title of it intrigued me and seemed to describe the burden of my heart.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o’er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Jesus has told us in the book of John not to fear this world because He has already overcome it. It’s hard for me to rest in this promise sometimes because of how evil this world is. But if anything, I’ve learned that He is faithful and that I can trust that He is all good.

Because of His promise and because I know that He is faithful, I can find joy. There is joy in the midst of sorrow because He came for us. He came before to save us and He is coming for us again. And that is where I find my joy. So come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Thanksgiving

Yes, I do realize that it is December 2nd and that I’ve been home from our Thanksgiving vacation for 7 days now. Instead of documenting our holiday this past week, I chose to nap and do things like laundry and catch up on some shows I missed. So judge me.

We spent our entire week (yay for a private school schedule, am I right?) in Georgia with the Stanton side of our family. We had an AMAZING time. You know what I’m thankful for? A nice set of in-laws. And really, let’s be honest- they’re more than just nice. Anyone who knows the Stantons, knows that. They are kind, loving, accepting, encouraging and, well they’re family…and they act like it- unconditional love. I’ve heard horror stories about in-laws and I am so grateful for the relationships that I have with mine.

Kyle has two older brothers who both have kids. Tyler and Amy have 3 boys, and Bryan and Jenn have one boy. So, if you did your math- Tegan has 4 older boy cousins. What fun! I love everything about it. She’s already been tackled, drooled on, and very very entertained by these boys. She is obsessed with them and amazed by all that they do. And she should be- they are awesome! She is going to learn a lot from these little guys, and I’m glad that these are the boys who get to teach her what boys are like…because really, they are really amazing. Really.

I spent an entire afternoon shopping with Amy, JUST Amy. We left the kids with the boys. I NEVER get to do that. Thankful for that.
Me and Tegan got to spend our early mornings with Jenn and Harper instead of being alone. Thankful for that.
We played football with the neighbors- a long time Thanksgiving tradition on the Rice side of our family. A tradition I’m glad I didn’t get to miss out on. Thankful for that.
I was able to watch the parents of my husband, grandparent my baby. What a flow of emotions, and what love! Thankful for that.
I was able to see Tegan loved on by her great grandma Lunsford and her great grand-dad Stanton, and lots of other family. Thankful for that.
I got to see Kyle spend hours upon hours with his dad and brothers. The ones he looks up to the most. SO very thankful for that.
I spent hours playing with my nephews, and watching them show off all the things they’ve learned since I’ve last seen them. Thankful for that.
I got to watch my nephews fall in love with their littlest cousin. Overwhelmed by that.

We had a great week. I love my family and am so thankful for each one of them.

Fall 2012

So far, Fall has lived up to it’s usual excitement. I love fall. Always have, and I’m pretty sure I always will. The 80 degree weather can not stop this girl from pretending it’s cold and wearing scarves and boots everywhere she goes.

To be completely honest, this season usually makes me a little homesick for some color on the trees and chill in the air… which then makes me feel a little sad and pouty. But I’m staying positive this year! I don’t know if it’s because I have a kid now, and everything seems better as a family… or that I’m just finally realizing and accepting that my home right now doesn’t have bright red trees and smoke coming out of my chimney. Either way, I’m really happy.

We kept the football stands pretty warm this fall. Tegan never missed a home game for the Warriors, and even attended a few away games (one of them was during a pretty big thunderstorm, we ended up in the car- we’re raising a sports fan, but maybe not a crazy one just yet). Pops always came up into the stands at half time to say hello to Tegan and to tell her how much prettier she had gotten since the beginning of the game.

We started giving Tegan real food recently. Sweet potatoes went first, and she freaked out only a little bit…

That was the only day she’s acted like that about food, though. Since then, she is an eating machine! If I’m eating anything, she starts moving her tongue like I’m going to share. Now, she inhales anything we give her. And then looks at us like, ‘seriously, where’s the rest?’. She cracks us up.

Halloween was fun. Halloween is way more fun with a kid. I mean really, she probably hated her outfit and I know she hated me putting eyeliner on her nose, but we dressed her up anyway because we couldn’t get over how cute she was and had to show her off. We met up with some friends at “Trunk or Treat” over at our church; taking candy from whoever would give it to the parents without kids who eat candy.

Kyle and I teach an 11th grade Life Group on Sunday mornings. We like to spend time with them outside of just Sundays, so we took them to a corn maze in Plant City and had a scavenger hunt. It was awesome. And we had a really, really fun time! Even Tegan loved it.

This past Sunday was Kyle’s birthday and Tegan’s dedication day at church. Kyle turned 25 this year- and just like that we don’t sound so young anymore. 25 just sounds so old, well not OLD…but it sounds like an adult. I mean I guess we have a kid and everything, we should probably sound like adults by now. (Is it weird that I keep saying ‘we’ when I’m talking about Kyle…whatever we’re married, thats what happens I guess). Dedication was sweet. It was a chance to stand in front of the church and not just show our baby off, but to promise in front of our church/team/family that we would do everything we can to raise her in truth, and guide her to our Jesus so that she finds her purpose in Him and finds satisfaction only in Him. Thank you mom, dad, Bill, Nancy, Anna, Matt, Nanny and Poppy for all coming and celebrating Kyle and Tegan with us this weekend! (I’m awful, I didn’t take any pics from that day- I only have this one because my sister, Anna took it- thanks Anna!).

So, as you can see there are lots of things to be thankful for as we enter into this season of thanks. I love celebrating all of these little moments that make up our Stanton story.